10 days into my absolute least favourite month of the year. I will return to my class in a couple of hours after a three-week break. As you can see, I am also returning to my blog after a nine-week break. You could say my small home baking business totally took over my life at the end of last year. I did better than ever before, but it meant that something had to give, and that something was my two blogs. This one and my lyric writing blog “1word@the time”.
So, why do I dislike January so much? Well, first of all it is the month when I must land back in reality again after the build-up for Christmas. This year I worked a lot over the holiday period and never really had time to get into the relaxed state I so desperately needed. Christmas day was the best and most relaxed day, but other than that, it was an emotional roller-coaster ride between hoping to do fun holiday type things and the disappointment of realising I was too tired to do anything but sit in front of the telly for a while before going to bed to get up for another day at work. I did have time for a couple of very nice lunches and afternoon teas at various places, which I enjoyed in good company.
The week between new year and the dreaded 12th day of Christmas is one I don’t cope well with at all. Part of me is so very sick and tired of all my Christmas decorations at that point, which I loved spending two whole days putting up just five-six weeks earlier. Still I know how much work will be involved in putting them all away again. The inevitability of yet another Christmas coming to an end wears me down, especially since the new year always makes me look back on the year just gone, hoping to see progress in areas important to me, but never really manage to see the results I was striving for. Put that on top of the fear of a new year and add all the pressure of achievements I put onto myself, and you find me at the fridge door and by the chocolate boxes more often than at any other time during the festivities.
Saying that, I did achieve a few goals during 2018 that have failed me during many previous years. I did manage to lose 2.5 stone or around 17 kg in weight. Yes, I have piled some of it back on during the last few weeks, but my starting point is still in a much better place than only 12 months ago, so I am confident I will manage to reach my target weight during this year.
A second goal I reached, without any effort whatsoever, was to exceed my previous year’s results within my baking business. This has made me decide to take the leap and turn what was a seasonal business into an “all year around” business. I will extend my products from just biscuits to biscuits and 7 different gateaux. 5 of them based upon my various varieties of biscuits (I’ve just started to work out the different fillings and flavours) plus one Christmas gateau and one Easter gateau.
I totally see the conflict between my chosen business and my goal to lose weight, but I will have to manage that conflict somehow, because when all I need to do is to mention a possible Easter gateau and I get orders, even before I have worked out the flavours and appearance of this gateau, I feel I have to go with the flow. I love baking. Even so, it may not bee my first choice of career, but since my first choice of career, at the moment, only gives me slammed doors or silence and a total lack of response, I would be a fool not to go with a creative trade that seems to be wanted by the public.
A third thing I managed to do last year was to find the much needed second job after six months of searching and worrying. I can’t say this job either suits me or makes me happy. There were times in my life when I would have walked away from it long before now, considering how I feel every morning as I drive in to that particular job. So far, I have stuck with it even if it does drain me of the energy I desperately need for other things. That in itself is a huge achievement.
So, I’m still very far from where I would like to be at this moment in time in my life, but one thing I can say about 2018, is that I really did do my best to change my life for the better. I might have been very close to throwing in the towel many times, but that doesn’t matter as long as I didn’t.
I really don’t care what my weight is today, as I know I have lost some since last Thursday, which was when I “started anew” in my mind. I hope I haven’t gained more than 7Ibs, but I’ll know in an hour or so.
I managed to stay under that dreaded 7Ibs of weight gain. I had gained exactly 3kg or 6.5Ibs. If I think about how long ago it is since I stopped tracking and thinking about what I was eating, because I was knee high in cake mixture, I haven’t done badly. To me a gain of 3kg shows me that my mindset never really left me. I have indulged and enjoyed Christmas, but somewhere along the line I have made better choices than I used to before starting this weight loss journey almost a year ago now. Upwards and onwards!
Happy new year to you all and I’ll see you in 7!