Not as planned

There is no doubt about it; I overdid it last week. I felt filled with energy and was enjoying getting my house sparkling clean again, but to totally omit resting after work so I could get ahead with all the work I had panned at home, has back fired. I’m writing this on Tuesday 9 of October just to get something useful done, because all the jobs I had planned for both Monday and Tuesday have had to be postponed until later this week. Both days I have felt so very tired after work and knowing I wouldn’t do myself justice with what I had planned, so I’d rather wait until my days off and work long unbroken days then. I know I can do that. I’ve done it before and I’m sure I can do it again.

 
Foodwise this week has been a bit of a mix. I had lunch out on Friday and it wasn’t calorie free. Both on Saturday and Sunday I was sticking to the plan and I haven’t been doing badly yesterday or today Tuesday either. What I’ve been too tired to do is to push myself, so I could reach the two pound or one kg loss that was my goal for this week. I personally, need to be on top form to be able to really focus if I’m to reach a goal like that and sadly, this week didn’t become as planned. Unfortunately, so far, I haven’t lost any weight during the last five days. I’m the same as I was on Thursday at my last weigh in.

 
That’s what I wrote on Tuesday. This week’s blog is becoming a bit of a journal, but I can’t see anything wrong with that. On Wednesday I woke up with the answer to my strange tiredness. My throat felt like it was filled with razorblades and with no energy what so ever. Because of that nothing got done after work yet again. Unfortunately, my stress levels were raised to new heights with my mind free to think about how far behind I was getting with all my jobs. As a result, I totally stopped tracking yesterday and took to ‘picking’ instead. I was raiding the fridge and the biscuit tin and had a bad day in every which way.

 
The only good thing I can take from the last three days is that I have tried to register my behaviour pattern and how I react when it comes to food if things don’t go to plan. Obviously, I am familiar with my reactions already, but being familiar with them is one thing. Having a good alternative when my conditioned behaviour patterns take over is a totally different one. For that to happen, I must accept that what I’m doing is something that should belong to my past. I need to convince myself that these days I am strong enough to find a better solution and finally I have to be brave enough to break the habit and choose another way of handling disappointment and stress. A way that doesn’t involve comfort eating. The best thing I can take out of this week is that with writing these last sentences down on paper, I am one step closer to finding the answer, because I am now very conscious of the problem and actively looking for more constructive alternatives.

 
My cold is not one I will be able to shake off, so I will have to live through it instead. Therefore, I won’t go to my meeting today. Instead I will do my upmost to nurse myself better. I hope I can do that through a lot of sleep and stay away from the fridge and cupboards.

 
Have a good week and I see you in 7!
Åsa

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