I’ve just come back from my weekly meeting and I’m happy to announce that I have finally reached a part goal of mine which was to lose 2 stones or around 14 kg. On the meeting I was asked how I felt, having reached this mile stone? Being my most typical self, I answered with a negative first. The negative being that I am 7Ibs or 3.5kg heavier than I should be at this moment in time, since my plan was to lose on average a minimum of 1 pound, or half a kg per week.
Driving home, I got annoyed with myself, because of the fact that this comment was the first one that had hit me. Yes, I am a very competitive person and yes, I hate when things do not go to plan, but I should know myself by now. Therefore, I should realise what a miracle I have achieved by not being further of the mark than 7Ibs after all the changes I’ve been through this year and add to that, how I have been feeling lately inside myself.
Only a couple of months ago I was prepared to give up on everything in my life, because I was living in a dark hole without being able to see a way out. All I could feel was that my energy and my will to live was slipping through my fingers. Despite all that, something inside me refused to give up on my goal to lose weight and to finally, also physically, become the person I know I was born to be. This means that I have changed so much as a person. I have stopped fooling myself and giving myself silly excuses to go off the rails. When life get tough, I have realised I carry a strength inside me to become even tougher.
So, why couldn’t I immediately recognise what an amazing success it was that I had achieved my 2 stone goal today? Why did I have to fall into that old behaviour pattern to see my failures first and give voice to them in public? Yes, I am seven weeks late reaching this goal, but will I care in 7 years if I within the coming year succeed in getting to my goal and then manage to stay at my chosen weight long term after that? Of course, I won’t, especially if I can truly manage to make this journey a change in life style to create a healthier me.
For me, becoming healthier has got more to do with managing to become kinder to myself than losing weight, because I know that if I can manage not to be so hard on myself the weight loss will come easier. I know this, because most of the times I eat the wrong stuff I do it to punish myself for one thing or another. I may call it a treat, but in all honesty, it is me subconsciously hindering my own success, because, on some level, I don’t feel I am worthy of that success.
I’m getting so much better but going back to my old behaviour pattern on the meeting today by pointing out what was wrong instead of embracing my success, has shown me I still have some way to go when it comes to showing kindness towards myself.
Being me, I will obviously do my best to catch up on my deficit as quickly as I possibly can, so I will make it my goal to lose 2Ibs during the nest 7 days. Looking at how active I will have to be during the incoming week, this should not be an impossible task at all.
Have a good week and I see you in 7!