This week has been one of those when I’ve felt I’ve done good, but the result doesn’t show on the scales. Its’s funny how much those weeks annoy me and how quickly I forget all the weeks when I know I haven’t eaten particularly well, and I’ve still managed to make some progress with my weight loss.
I suppose being good is a relative thing. Twice this week when I have come up to clean in that area at 8 AM, there has been cake on the table in the canteen at work. On Monday there was cake leftover from Sunday and on Wednesday there were an abundance of various goodies left over from a regional manager meeting the day before, plus some gorgeous chocolates from a colleague and friend that worked her last day on Wednesday, before retiring. In situations like that, I really have to be at top form on every level to be able to resist the temptation. First of all, I mustn’t be hungry or crave sugar, and that isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Having been up since 4 AM and had plenty of time to work off my breakfast during two ours of real graft I always crave a sugar boost at 8 AM.
Then my energy has to be above a certain level for me to be able to ignore the goodies and just get on with work and be satisfied with just a cup of black coffee. Emotionally I also have to be “wobble free”. If something’s gone wrong or I’m worried over things, it is very hard not to run towards the first sugar fix I can get my hands on and the same goes for my mind. If my mind is cluttered by less happy thoughts I need something to comfort me and sometimes empty sugar calories are a perfect match for the emptiness living inside me.
Still, I have tracked all the treats I’ve eaten and even though some of the tracking has had to be a bit of a guestimate, I at least feel good about at least not having ignored the treats in my weekly tracking.
When it comes to the feeling of standing still, I’m doing a course at the moment that teaches me how to get a better and more comfortable life. The course is focusing on financial matters, but a lot can be adapted to other parts of life too. This week the course has concentrated on “dreaming” which, to begin with, surprised me, because I couldn’t see how daydreaming would get me out of the sticky situation I’ve been in. Still, no pain, no gain, so this week I have tried to conjure as many scenarios as I possibly could to describe how I would live my life if I would have unlimited means. Yesterday, I was asked how the daydreaming was going, and I was asked if I had been able to go totally wild with my dreams or if I limited my dreams to what I felt was logically possible? That question suddenly made me remember how I used to be as a child, teenager and young adult. I knew exactly what I wanted from life, and in my daydreams, I saw me at the Oscar’s, I saw me as a famous writer, I saw my self being able to reach the stars. I never reached those heights I planned for in my dreams, but on a more modest level I did achieve all the goals I had set in my big dreams from very young. I became a journalist, I’ve written books and I have worked on telly both in front of and behind a camera. This course says that to be successful with anything we have to both act and dream. That balance has got to be there. I was given a quote a couple of days ago that said ;
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” (Anatole France).
When reading this I realised I’ve shut down the part of me I used to like best about myself; my ability to somewhere inside me both feel and know that I am going to do well and be able to do whatever I put my mind to. The last decade there have been so many setbacks, that my downtrodden mind has put a stop do all my dreams born from my soul. Somehow, I have felt stupid dreaming about things that have seemed more and more impossible to reach even on a smaller scale. I have told myself to “stop that nonsense” and “keep my head down” and instead work my way up from the big hole I’m sitting in.
If I live to be two hundred there is now way I can work myself up from where I’m at, just sticking to my two nine-to-fives. I need a miracle, so maybe I need to get some balance back in my life between dreaming and acting. To my surprise I’m finding it very hard to let go and move into my limitless world of dreams where I so comfortably used to spend most of my time as a youngster. Still, I feel the same method can be used in my weight loss journey. I can dream about things I will say and do when I’m back to my goal weight, that my mind is hindering the over weight me to do. Maybe those dreams would motivate me enough to stop me from grabbing those cakes next time and help me remember my goal when I crave sugar. Who knows? I feel it may be worth a try.
This week I had actually moved the tiniest of bits weight wise, but I had moved and thankfully it was in the right direction. Another half a pound or around 250 gr off.
Have a good week and I see you in 7!