A feeling of peace

This morning when I went for my morning walk with Columbo (my dog), I felt peaceful, for the first time since I don’t remember when. I have a feeling it had to do with the smell in the air. It was the late summer, very early autumn “back to school” smell. A season when life becomes calmer once again. In all fairness, it is my favourite time of the year. Even though I love summer, and especially the ones that are as warm and magical as the one we were blessed with this year. Still, there are a lot of conditioned “have to” situations combined with the summer. “Have to have time to enjoy the days to the full”. “Have to go out eating with friends and be social” Have to, have to, have to. Even though most “have to’s” are nice, they can also be stressful. So, feeling that lovely calmness inside me which comes with the darker evenings, cooler, fresher air, and lovely, safe routines, felt wonderful.

Hopefully the feeling of peace will help me get back on track with my weight loss journey too. At the moment I am hovering with, more or less, the same weight for the fourth week in a row. Well, I did loose a pound last week, but the week before I had gained half a pound, and since I doubt I’ve lost more than half a pound this week either, I need to get a hold of myself.

I have gone back to old behaviour patterns, because I basically haven’t had the energy to get a grip. I know that with my new job which helps me to collect around 120 fitness points without even exercising, I can afford treats and snacks and not gain weight anyway. Having felt very unsettled and stressed for the last two months, it has been easy not to follow the programme too strictly, because in the back of my mind I’ve known I can get away with it. This week, I’ve even tested how much I can get away with, just to make sure, and I’m surprised that I’m still on the right side of the line weight wise. I haven’t gained any, but my loss is minute.

If this feeling of peace stays with me, I hope this month to have a very good couple of weeks to finish off with. I mean, considering what I can get away with thanks to all the exercise from my two jobs; -imagine how much weigh I could lose fairly quickly, if I finally got back to the routine of following the programme? This thought has started to nag at me now, which is a good sign, because that means I’m getting annoyed with myself. Normally, sooner or later, that changes things to the better. I am hoping for sooner.

Today, I must miss my weigh in, because I’m taking part in a baking competition this afternoon and baking and decorating my gateau has taken all morning. Luckily, the end result of my gateau is one I can live with. I know inside myself that I couldn’t have done any better today and therefore, what will be, will be. The most important thing is that I know I’ve done my absolute best.

When it comes to my weight journey, I have strangely also done my best during the last two months. I just wish my best would have been so much better. I can possible pinpoint a few days, when I had the strength inside my mind to do better than I did, but for one reason or another I didn’t bother, but the majority of the time, circumstances and the feeling inside myself, have made my best quite mediocre.

Still, the main thing is that I haven’t gained any weight. Now, with a calmer mind I will up my efforts and hopefully have better news next week.

Have a good week and I see you in 7!


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