I’ve been thinking a bit about triggers during the last few days. What is it that makes me take to food as a coping mechanism? Is it good things or bad things? Well, actually it is both. Or at least it used to be. Last week I managed to get some very good news without turning it into a reason to destroy anything for myself.
One of my jobs is to write song lyrics, and this year I have been putting a lot of time into that project and working hard on getting better at my craft. I have for a while sent my lyrics to be evaluated and thanks to doing that found out that there is still plenty I’ve got to learn. A couple of weeks back I sent in my newest attempt and believe it or not; it came back from the evaluation with absolutely brilliant comments. I can’t tell you how much this meant to me. This particular source is very strict but very fair, Still, I have to say sometimes it feels a bit cruel having to read less than flattering comments about something I’ve written, because writing song lyrics is very personal. This time they were singing my phrase, and it made my day.
A while back it wouldn’t have taken me a long time, before I would have started to destroy something in my life, because of getting praised for something I’ve done. I would have said I was “celebrating”, and to the outside world that would have looked an acceptable excuse, because good news like the once I had been given, is not something that comes around every day. The point is though, the subconscious reason for me using up my weekly points plus more, would have been because the nasty little devil on my right shoulder was whispering into my ear that I really didn’t deserve the praise, and I would have believed it! So, getting success in one area of my life would have lead to me destroying another, and the easiest and most fragile one to destroy is my weight loss journey.
“I have also accepted that
I do deserve to be happy!”
This time however, none of this happened. From where I’m sitting, it looks like I have finally have grown wise to my manipulative and destructive ways and have also accepted that I do deserve to be happy. Just like everybody else, I deserve happiness. It may look like a simple thing to say when you read it, but you have no idea how hard it is for me to say something like that publicly and realise that I have actually finally accepted that this is a fact! Wow!
Anyway, back to my promise from last week’s blog. After having gained a pound, I did make an official promise to lose that pound again and one more. Will I be able to keep this promise today? Yes, I will. I am quietly confident that I may have done even better than the two pounds I gave myself as a goal. In a couple of hours, we will all know.
The reason for having done as well as I think I have, is because I have found a way to follow the plan that suits my way of living. I have integrated the plan with my being an all or nothing girl. Everything in my life and everything I do is always black or white. I am useless at the grey scale or moderate thinking. For years I have tried to change this specific side of me, but I have now decided that it is better to adapt what I do in life to my way of being.
Since this realisation on how to use the plan to fit my personality is still very new, I will keep it to myself until I have another week under my belt. If the same way of working the plan has gone as well and has been as easy during the next seven days as it has during the last, I will share my realisation with you all. I promise.
Right. It did go very well at the weigh in. I’d lost 3Ibs or 1.5kg. This means that I have caught up with myself when it comes to what my goal is. This was my 16th week in the programme and all in all I have now lost 15.5Ibs. Since my goal is 1Ib/week, I can only be pleased.
Have a good week and I see you all in 7!