Last week I spoke about not quite being in the right mindset to change my lifestyle to one where I can finally lose the weight I want to get rid of. What I didn’t do, was to explain what I meant with that. How can I tell that I’m not totally ready for this big change in lifestyle?
The first clue is that I can’t do it on my own. After decades of fighting my weight problem I have all the practical and theoretical knowledge I could ever need when it comes to “how to lose weight”. Even so, something inside my mind totally refuses to allow me to change without the incentive of going to a class once a week to weigh in. This is very infuriating, because however much I enjoy the one hour meeting each week, I am paying out money I really don’t have.
“I can’t do it on my own.”
The money side of things was a big issue for me this time. I needed to be certain that my mind-set was, at least, in an “almost there” place before signing up. There was no way I could pay the class fee month after month, if for the rest of the time, I would do my upmost to somehow try to get around the programme and therefore not get the results I was after. Still, I had come to a point where I really didn’t live the life I want to live due to being overweight. I had to ask myself what was better; to continue to waste my life hiding away from its full potential because of being overweight or taking the chance that the setting of my subconscious mind would very quickly comply with my wishes to lose weight, so I wouldn’t waste my money.
So far it hasn’t been a waste of money. The weight loss hasn’t been big, but it has gone the right way. This has happened even though my interpretation of the programme has been anything but strict, – mostly due to outside events. Anyway, I have somehow resigned myself to the fact that with Easter just around the corner and that I won’t be able to put my full concentration on to the programme before the first week in April.
The place where my mind-set continues to fail me is when it comes to food preparation and planning. I haven’t managed to find any joy at all in trying new recipes, and I find any excuse under the sun just, so that I won’t have to sit down and plan a proper week’s menu. I shop healthily and therefore eat much healthier, but I don’t really cook much. I do know this is what could lead to my downfall long term, but I also know that at the moment I am so very far from succeeding in this area that it would only cause me stress to force an immediate change. Worst case scenario, it could cause me to give up and fail.
It isn’t all bad. I have seen some positives too, where my mind-set is allowing me positive changes. For instance, I don’t look at ‘weighing in day’ as an excuse for overeating anymore. In the past this use to be my pattern. I used to think that “since I had done well, I can allow myself a day off, because I have a whole week to rescue any weight gain.” That pattern is totally gone. I now know that food really isn’t a reward. Another proof showing that this knowledge really has sunk in, is that I don’t use my exercise point for food anymore. I used to convert them into extra food points, but these days I exercise purely to feel better. I never even think about eating more because I have collected points for exercising.
“I don’t look at ‘weighing in day’
as an excuse for overeating anymore”
I have also managed to stay away from the Finnish chocolate my mother sent to me for Easter. It has been in the fridge unopened for two weeks now. There have been a couple of stressful days and a couple of emotional events during this time that, not too long ago, would have steered me to that chocolate, but I have succeeded in finding alternatives that had nothing to do with food. I know that every time I manage to find an alternative to unhealthy food, either as a reward, a safety net, or some sort of comfort the conditioned behaviour pattern in my mind, will become weak
If I’m honest, which I have promised to be, I don’t know if I’ve done so well in this area, because I know Easter is just around the corner. I have promised myself not to go mad over Easter when it comes to chocolates, but part of me is wondering if it is easier for me to stay off the stuff now, because I know we are only talking days until chocolate “is allowed” thanks to Easter.
“these days I exercise
purely to feel better”
I will have to wait and see until after Easter, if I actually have grown stronger in my willpower and if my mind-set is changing or if it was all an illusion because of the “safety period” called Easter, where I allow myself some treats. I genuinely don’t’ know which because my mind is a master when it comes to fooling the rest of me. In a weeks’ time I will be able to tell you who won.
This week went really well though. I lost 2Ibs or 1kg. The best week for some time result wise.
Have a good week and I see you in 7!